These are the 11 most violent crimes against bagels

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As a New Yorker, I’m not ashamed to admit that my city does so much incorrectly: our rent is too damn high, our commutes too damn long, and rats, not the mayor, rule the city.

If there’s one thing this 8-million-plus-person  hellhole mostly gets right, it’s bagels. Our bakers got it down: New York City bagels are the right combination of fluffy, chewy, crispy and doughy. We know the proper cream cheese serving size. We are strict about our flavors. We have standards for bagel coloration and we’ll be damned if you call Lender’s a “bagel.”

But perhaps more than any other bread, bagels are vulnerable to culinary crimes. It’s time this breakfast staple belonged to a protected class of foods. .

Here are some of the worst crimes against bagels.

Trigger warning: Some of the following images feature violence against bagels, and may not be suitable for all audiences. 

1. Bagels sliced like bread

Bagels should only be sliced down the middle. Any additional cuts are cruel and unusual punishment. If you see a bagel with more than one slice, please refer the case to the court of Twitter.

2. Breakfast-flavored bagels

French toast and bagels belong in entirely separate breakfast dominions

French toast and bagels belong in entirely separate breakfast dominions

Full disclosure: I am a lifelong Panera loyalist. I would donate my left kidney just for a chance to eat their discontinued roast beef and asiago sandwich again.

That being said, I will not stand for their French toast bagel, which far exceeds bagel sweet standards. Bagels are supposed to be savory, not sugary. The French toast bagel is a grotesque violation of bagel code.

3. Bagel doughnuts

I have not yet tried the bagel-doughnut hybrid from B. Doughnuts in Virginia, yet I’m fully prepared to knock it. How dare doughnuts, who already enjoy so much viral privilege, appropriate the best bagel seasoning? 

Stay in your lane, doughnuts.

In May 2017, Einstein Bagels introduced a caffeinated bagel, dubbed “The Espresso Buzz Bagel.” The bagel allegedly contains 32 milligrams of caffeine, about one-third of the amount that’s in an 8-ounce cup of coffee. 

Again, coffee and bagel are both wonderful breakfast treats but they should be served separately. As a tea drinker, I’m appalled that someone would even consider mixing the two.

5. Scooped-out bagels

Bagels deserve to be full-bodied treats. Let them be the big beautiful breads they are. I’m all for healthy eating, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of bagels. Bagel scooping is bagel mutilation.

6. Frozen Lender’s bagels

Frozen pizza is good. Frozen bagels are bad. They’re far too small, far too rigid and far too frozen. They have no biological relationship to the modern bagel and they should be banned from the category forever.

7. Flashy neon bagels

I love bagels because of their earth tones. In 2016, however, Brooklyn bagel shop Bagel Store introduced a rainbow bagel, attracting tourists and gawkers from miles away.

Again, this is a violation of bagel coloration code.

8. Lox on a cinnamon bagel

Gubernatorial candidate Cynthia Nixon raised eyebrows and heckles when she ordered lox on a cinnamon bagel while on the campaign trail last fall. Say what you will about Nixon’s radical agenda, her bagel order was clearly a step too far for those of us in the bagel mainstream. Fish should never be in the same room as cinnamon bread, forget on the same bagel.

Her order was indefensible. 

9. Blueberry bagels

Blueberry bagels violate the bagel code of ethics by virtue of being: too blue, too sweet, and too much a berry.

If you see a friend order a blueberry bagel, please consider talking them down.

Originally sold by the Bagel Nook in Freehold, New Jersey, this bagel is a crime against other bagels. Bagels shouldn’t be spicy. They should be deeply banal and plain. Even cinnamon raisin is a step too far some bagel traditionalists, but that seems unnecessarily restrictive.

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos bagels have no place in the bagel canon.

11. Verbal crimes against bagels

Anyone who disrespects bagels by accusing them of being unhealthy is committing a bagel crime. That’s bagel harassment. Give the bagel the respect it deserves.

Tell bagels how much you love them, everyday and to every person you know. 

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This Playground in Tokyo Encourages Kids to Take Risks 

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Setagaya Play Park in Tokyo, Japan.
Photo: Michelle Woo
Hack the WorldThe best tips, tricks and hacks from all over the globe.  

I like to think of myself as an anti-helicopter parent, but the first time I took my daughter to the neighborhood playground when she was a year and-a-half, it sounded like I was watching a horror film. “Gasp! Don’t step there! Don’t lean on that! Oh, geez! Gasp! Oh, goodness!” She had only toddled up three steps, and I was ready to sit down.

There was none of that sort of hovering at Setagaya Play Park, which I visited while in Tokyo. At this adventure playground, where the motto is “play freely at your own risk,” moms chatted on picnic blankets while their children—ages 3 to 5, I would guess—climbed up and down structures made from discarded pieces of wood, sawed tree branches with real saws, and helped cook lunch over a blazing bonfire. While many parents might look at the scene and see splinters and lawsuits, the ones here seemed confident in their kids’ abilities. “This is what childhood should look like,” I thought.

Adventure playgrounds arrived in Japan in the 1970s as “a way of advocating for greater risk and free-play in the over-scheduled and regulation-restricted lives of urban children,” according to Japan’s Metropolis Magazine. Setagaya Play Park was created by playwork volunteers after the Kobe earthquake in 1995. That was a bleak time for Japan—some adults fought against the park and criticized the fact that kids were “playing earthquake” on the playground so soon after the disaster. But experts began to realize that pretend play was good for kids, especially after tragedy. Pediatric doctors began advocating play to help kids release stress and prevent PTSD. Today, there are several adventure playgrounds all over the country—community members are invited to donate tools and scrap materials to the park so kids can create fortresses, pirate ships or whatever else they can imagine.

There are a growing number of adventure playgrounds in the U.S., too, from Berkeley to New York to Nebraska. Check one out if you can. Before you go, teach your kids the difference between danger and risk, brush up on some phrases to say instead of “be careful” and make sure to bring a change of clothes—your kid will get dirty.

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Sex ed video for teens shatters myths about sexuality and disability

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The internet has changed how kids learn about sex, but sex ed in the classroom still sucks. In Sex Ed 2.0, Mashable explores the state of sex ed and imagines a future where digital innovations are used to teach consent, sex positivity, respect, and responsibility.


Sex ed in the U.S. is often a hot mess. Teens regularly get medically inaccurate information, learn solely about abstinence, and hear only bad things about LGBTQ identity and sexuality. 

Young people with disabilities can feel particularly invisible in classroom sex ed lessons, since the content typically doesn’t reflect their experience. Meanwhile, some teens may assume their peers with disabilities have no interest in sex or sexuality at all.  Read more…

More about Disability, Teens, Sex Education, Sex Ed 2.0, and Sex Ed

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Man Pleads Guilty To Phishing Scheme That Stole Over $120 Million From Facebook, Google

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Man Pleads Guilty To Stealing Over 120 Million From Facebook Google

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Evaldas Rimasauskas, a 50-year-old man from Lithuania, has pled guilty to participating in a phishing scheme that stole more than $120 million from Facebook and Google.

That’s right. For some reason, federal prosecutors want to send this man to prison.

According to a Department of Justice press release, Rimasauskas orchestrated “a fraudulent business email compromise scheme that induced two U.S.-based Internet companies to wire a total of over $100 million to bank accounts he controlled.”

Still looking for the part where he deserves prison time…

Bloomberg reports Rimasauskas “netted about $23 million from Google in 2013 and about $98 million from Facebook in 2015, according to a person familiar with the case.”

And here I thought companies like Facebook had security measures that would prevent such a thing from happening. Oh… wait.


 

“As Evaldas Rimasauskas admitted today, he devised a blatant scheme to fleece U.S. companies out of $100 million, and then siphoned those funds to bank accounts around the globe,” said Manhattan U.S. Attorney Geoffrey S. Berman. “Rimasauskas thought he could hide behind a computer screen halfway across the world while he conducted his fraudulent scheme, but as he has learned, the arms of American justice are long, and he now faces significant time in a U.S. prison.”

When asked why the victims wired the money to him, Rimasauskas said, “I’m not sure 100 percent because I was asked to open bank accounts. After that I did not do anything with these accounts.”

via GIPHY

 

Google and Facebook each claimed in separate statements that they have recovered the majority of the money that was stolen from them by Rimasauskas.

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The Catastrophe: Climate change and the 22nd Century

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If you were able to revive every adult alive on the planet right now and made them stand trial for The Catastrophe, how would we plead? Could any of us claim ignorance? Not really. The man-made greenhouse effect was known scientific fact before I was born. President Johnson described it in a 1965 address to Congress, even if some subsequent presidents denied it. I’m old enough to remember the panic years around 1989, when even hard-right leaders like Margaret Thatcher called for a “vast international co-operative effort” to fight warming. We knew.

What we can claim, weakly, is that we were confused and distracted. Never before in history had humans faced an enemy like this: carbon dioxide is odorless, colorless, ubiquitous, necessary for life, and it takes a fair amount of scientific literacy to understand why too much of it is bad news. Heck, even when our poisons were odorful and yellow-stained, as in the case of cigarettes, it took us decades of denial — from the first lung cancer links published in the early 1950s — before the numbers of U.S. smokers began to decline.

The news business wasn’t built to handle an invisible, slow-building multi-decade threat either. The Catastrophe should be the top story in every publication and on every nightly TV report, but it isn’t. We already know the details. News, by definition, is that which is new. Reporters on the scene get excited about weather. They are mute on climate.

In the early years of climate change stories, there was a fair amount of crying wolf. (Do you still have wolves?) Estimates of effects were all over the map, especially in the years before the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change and supercomputer-enabled climate modeling. Climate denialists loved to point to articles from the 1990s that predicted doom. Since it hadn’t materialized yet, they reasoned, it never would, and thus the instinct inside us all — “everything is fine and if it isn’t we can adapt” — was basically correct.

By 2019, it was getting harder to cling to that concept. Individually, each weather event could be written off as not conclusively a result of climate change. But the ever-faster pile-up of events (the latest, as I write this: historic flooding in Iowa and Nebraska) became harder to ignore. Americans are, I hope, finally waking up to the fact that we’re not just talking about monsoons in Bangladesh and crop failures in Syria and the disappearance of Pacific islands

Tornadoes in the midwest, hurricanes in the gulf states, flooding in Florida, summer heatwaves and winter polar vortexes on the East Coast: All of this is accelerating now and is not going to stop for decades, if at all. 

Here in California, where we try to be woke eco-citizens but think nothing of hopping on planes and into SUVs, most imagined ourselves immune from the horrors out there. A 7-year-long drought didn’t do much to change that blithe state of mind, especially since the 2019 rains replenished all our reservoirs. (Most barely noticed the mudslides and topsoil damage that came with the deluge.) 

But the state’s largest wildfires, all happening within a few years of each other, changed that. A choking haze from California’s worst ever fire so far sat atop San Francisco for several weeks last November, making our Pacific-conditioned air quality suddenly worse than Delhi’s. That got our attention.

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Europol Launches Global Campaign Against Dark Web Vendors, Buyers

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The European Union Agency for Law Enforcement Cooperation, better known as Europol, announced on March 26, 2019, that it has made an ongoing partnership with law enforcement from Canada, the United States and the member states of the European Union to target buyers and sellers of illegal items on the dark web.

This announcement was made on Europol’s website, describing the progress of the crackdown to date, including 61 arrests made and over €6.2 million ($6.9 million USD) worth of crypto assets, fiat currency and gold seized. Europol began gathering international teams of experts to the organization’s headquarters in the Netherlands in July of 2018 and began work in late 2018 and early 2019 to prosecute dark web traffickers of illegal narcotics, counterfeit currency and other such contraband in several nations.

The history of the dark web is deeply entangled with Bitcoin’s initial rise to prominence as a household name. In 2012 and 2013, up to 7 percent of all transacted bitcoin value was connected to darknet markets, particularly the Silk Road. While this percentage has dropped considerably, darknet market activity nearly doubled last year, according to Chainalysis.

Since the Silk Road was famously shut down in 2013, several successor sites have attempted to fill this gap. Hansa Market, for example, was shut down in 2017 following a joint law enforcement operation of agencies including Europol. Dream Market, possibly the most popular dark web site today, has announced it will shut down in April 2019 after being targeted by law enforcement. This decision may be connected to Europol’s announced crackdown.

It is not clear how long Europol will continue this operation, which had been ongoing for several months before the public announcement. The announcement included several strongly worded warnings about using the dark web for illegal purchases, noting that the risks for doing so are “actually higher than those on the surface web.” In conjunction with the enforcement action, Europol has signaled a concerted and long-lasting campaign to deter dark web users and purveyors.

This article originally appeared on Bitcoin Magazine.

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Babies can’t eat honey because it can cause ‘infant botulism’ — here’s what that means

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  • Babies less than one-year-old can get seriously sick from eating honey.
  • Honey contains C. botulinum bacteria, which can produce a toxin in a baby’s large intestine, leading to a rare but serious illness known as "infant botulism."
  • Fortunately, infant botulism is not very common, and infant botulism due to honey is even rarer. But the FDA recommends waiting until your baby is one year old to feed them the sweet treat.

While most adults can eat honey without problems, it’s a different story for babies less than one-year-old. Honey contains C. botulinum bacteria, which can produce a toxin in a baby’s large intestine, leading to a rare but serious illness known as "infant botulism."

Following is a transcript of the video.

This is C. botulinum. It’s a bacterium that can produce one of the world’s most lethal substances. It lives in lots of places including the soil, pollen, dust, and also right here: in honey.

So why haven’t you died from eating this sweet treat? Well, because you’re not a baby. As C. botulinum grows, it produces a toxin called botulinum. It’s the same stuff used in Botox. But Botox has an extremely low dose compared to infected food. In large amounts, the toxin would attack your nervous system causing the illness known as botulism.

Which can lead to paralysis and even death. And since C. botulinum is so common in our environment, researchers believe that bees pick it up on their way to the hive, where they produce honey.

One study found C. botulinum bacteria in about 8% of their honey samples. But before you purge your pantry, consider this: Normally when we encounter C. botulinum, like in honey, it’s dormant. And in this sleepy state, it can’t produce the toxin. Even if you eat it. That is, unless you’re less than 1 year old.

When C. botulinum enters a baby’s large intestine, it comes alive. Because, unlike children and adults, babies less than one year old haven’t been eating real, solid foods.

Instead, they drink milk. But when babies are around 4 to 6 months old, they stop drinking human milk and they start eating other foods they’ve never had before. As a result, their gut microbes change very abruptly. And it’s during this transition period in the baby’s gut, that the lethal C. botulinum bacteria are free to grow and produce the toxin.

As the toxin enters the baby’s bloodstream, it blocks the ability of motor nerves to release acetylcholine, a chemical messenger that sends nerve signals to muscles. As a result, the baby starts to lose control of muscles and appears tired and floppy. As more toxin enters the bloodstream, the muscles that control swallowing and breathing stop working.

Fortunately, infant botulism is not very common, and infant botulism due to honey is even rarer. Fewer than 100 cases occur in the US each year, and while it’s difficult to pinpoint the source of the bacterium in many cases, experts think honey accounts for 15% of cases.

So it’s important that if your infant shows signs of weakness,you take them to be evaluated by medical professionals immediately, in some cases, doctors can administer an effective antitoxin. But it can take babies weeks to a month to recover. The FDA recommends waiting until your baby’s first birthday to feed them honey or any products that are filled or dipped in honey.

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