Lechler just addressed the media, applauding the professionalism and quick-work by members of the Department of Justice, and even thanked partially BadGurlRyRy for revealing what may be remember as the most egregious ethical violation in the history of Corporate America.
“I cannot, in any way, condone how these key pieces of evidence were obtained,” Lechler says. “But I will say that today was a huge victory for the Internet. Wherever you are, bravo.”
Todd Mirawitz has been taken into State custody and was escorted out of PRNT3D’s offices in handcuffs. Lechler has ordered for the immediate shut down of corporate operations and demanded that all drone prototypes be handed over to the State to undergo evaluation.
Lechler has entered the PRNT3D corporate headquarters, armed with an arrest warrant and flanked by a small unit of government agents.
BadGurlRyRy has posted the audio of a recorded call between Todd Mirawitz and PRNT3D Chief Legal Counsel, Craig Barnkowski.
Barnkowski: Todd, I must strongly advice against this…
Mirawitz: Do you think I have a f*cking choice? If we can’t ship this order to Mirage, the stock dives and the company goes under. Do you want to see that happen? Use your brain. We’re out of options.
Barnkowski: But the liability risks are tremendous…
Mirawitz: But the price is right, my friend. The DoC is giving us these brains for practically nothing. Just… for once, shut your mouth and cash your damn checks. I can’t wait to see the stupid look on your face at the next board meeting.
The Intercontinental Securities Exchange has halted all trading on PRNT3D stock.
Lechler has ordered a full search of PRNT3D’s production laboratory and has subpoenaed the company’s brain donation records.
Mirawitz has responded to BadGurlRyRy on Twitter:
“@BadGurlRyRy thinks he’s the new king of science fiction. Someone get this guy a book deal #15secondsoffame #bodybyPRNT3D”
BadGurlRyRy has released security camera footage from PRNT3D’s production laboratory on WatchThis. The footage is grainy, but seems to reveal an unmarked truck backing into the loading bay and PRNT3D security officers escorting several men in jumpsuits from truck’s cargo area and into holding cells.
Solicitor General, Joyce Lechler, is holding a press conference to communicate the Department of Justice’s stance on the “brain harvesting” accusations.
“At this time, this is no reason to give any credence to the musings of an anonymous cyber criminal, but you can rest assured: The Department of Justice will exhaust all legal courses of action in pursuit of the truth,” Lechler says.
BadGurlRyRy has posted a follow-up message on Reddit, attaching a zip-file containing hundreds of illegally obtained death certificates from the DoC – all bearing the name “John Doe.”
BadGurlRyRy’s original Reddit message has now been up-voted 530,718 times and is trending on Twitter.
A crowd has formed outside of PRNT3D’s corporate headquarters in New York City’s Flatiron District. A small group of men and women have started marching in a circle, chanting, “Release your donation records!” and “Keep our children safe!”
The police have arrived on the scene.
PRNT3D CEO, Todd Mirawitz, just concluded a press conference where he assured the public that the company employs a rigorous selection process for brain donors, and he does not believe that any donors had records of felony charges. When asked about the rising death rates of prisoners in the correctional system, he said that he “could not even begin to speculate.”
A mysterious theory about the 3D bio-printing giant, PRNT3D, began circulating online message boards last night, and now the Internet wants answers.
PRNT3D won the hearts (and imaginations) of Wall Streeters and consumers alike when, five years ago, its founders claimed they could 3D-print human bodies. The company’s market strategy had two components: 1) replacement bodies for the elderly or the terminally ill – available after brain transplant – and 2) affordable, real-life service workers, like maids and butlers.
The latter is what piqued the interests of investors. A seemingly unlimited supply of able-bodied laborers could be an economic boon to the State, and household help would be accessible to all for the first time ever.
The only question that remained unanswered was where the brains of these 3D printed drones would come from, especially considering the fact that PRNT3D top brass have often described brain replication as “impossible.”
Now, five years later, on the eve of PRNT3D’s first commercial shipment of 5,000 drones to Mirage Hotels, it appears the world might finally learn where the company is finding its brains.
Quorky user, BadGurlRyRy, shocked the dark web last night when he posited a rather frightening theory that PRNT3D is harvesting the brains of incarcerated felons.
You can read the full theory on Reddit, but the quick and dirty version is that he accessed PRNT3D’s accounts payable records (by illegal means) and discovered that the company owed massive amounts of money to the Department of Corrections. BadGuyRyRy then accessed the inmate records of the DoC and found that year-over-year “death rates” had risen astronomically – 5,000, to be exact.
On the surface, the numbers seem convenient, but the online community is out to find the truth. What’s more, BadGurlRyRy claims that he’s sitting on even more proof of his theory, and if PRNT3D doesn’t come forward and admit their wrongdoings, he will publish every piece of evidence he has.
This story is developing. Mashable will continue to update this post as information is made available.
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