Jared Kushner finally speaks and we cannot unhear it

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Jared Kushner finally speaks and we cannot unhear it

Why does this dude always look like he's the evil person in a movie who knows more than the other characters and wants the audience to know it?Why does this dude always look like he’s the evil person in a movie who knows more than the other characters and wants the audience to know it?

Image: AP/REX/Shutterstock

A long-gestating mystery to the American public has finally come to its dramatic conclusion: We now know what the voice of Jared Kushner sounds like.

Kusher — boyish prince, husband to a daughter of the president, also some sort of advisor to the president, winner of 2017’s Most Iconic Jerk Photo Award, real estate predator, possible vampire who emerges daily from a coffin embedded under a cherry tree somewhere in the greater D.C. area, a man who was reportedly keen on opening a backdoor with Russian government officials for reasons that are unclear but potentially illegal — spoke before tech executives on Monday, and people were very “whoa” because this, to our collective recollection, is the first time the American public has heard the man speak. 

The American public was not particularly impressed.

Now we have all heard the voice of the Kushner, and we cannot return. 

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